“Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.” Deuteronomy 6:6-7
In every home that Kathy and I have lived in since we’ve been married, we’ve framed or painted on the walls the five family values that we have chosen to govern how we relate to each other. They’ve been our family’s rules, our priorities based completely on God’s Word. We have intentionally and increasingly lived by these priorities God has given to us for honoring relationships within the walls of our home:
1: Love God Well, that’s no big surprise. What is the greatest commandment? “Love the Lord your God with all your heart” (Deuteronomy 6:5). Our first priority is to get the vertical right.
2: Family first We’re gonna be loyal to each other. We’re in these lifelong relationships together. Our family relationships come first. Jesus said that closely tied to the first priority was the priority to love our neighbor–our family is our first circumference of neighbors.
3: Work hard My mother gave me her maiden name, Sherwood, as my middle name. When I was a kid doing some job around the house, my mom would pull me in close and whisper in my ear, “Sherwoods know how to work hard. Don’t you ever forget your family trait.” What a great vision to give to a kid! It’s followed me my whole life. Now our family is working on it.
4: Tell the truth Yes, even when it’s hard. Even when it’s going to get you into more trouble. Just get the truth on the table. God can do a lot with any situation and with your heart when you tell the truth.
5: Be kind Think of someone else before yourself. Do the thoughtful thing. Speak the encouraging word. People matter to God.
Now these are our family values. You can have your own. But whatever you do, get some family priorities and put them up around your home. Honor them, even when it’s hard. We have friends who have painted their family values in large letters across the wall in their garage so they see them every time they pull in their car.
Priorities are the driving force behind a life well lived. Your kids won’t forget them when you frequently discuss what’s important to you and make constant reference to them. Look at the biblical precedent for this in Deuteronomy 6:4-9. Point out examples of those who are blowing off their priorities. Talk about and celebrate people that are living by their priorities. Bring your priorities up and discuss them in various settings, showing your children how they apply.
Over the years people have asked us if we had a regular family Bible study. We never did at our house but we made God and His Word priority in how we lived. We read God’s Word together frequently, we prayed together often, and we talked constantly about God’s priorities for this world and for our family and how they were being lived out on a day-to-day basis individually and as a family.
We made our share of bad decisions, but praise God, the pattern of our lives has been seeking God for wisdom to make good choices that come from established priorities.
James McDonald – Walk in the Word 2008
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