When Love is Tough

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Love suffers long and is kind; loves does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up. Does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoke, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.

— 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

 

Some chapters in the Bible are well-known just by their chapter reference. I bet if I said, 1 Corinthians 13, you’d say love right away. Normally your Bible doesn’t turn there except on Valentine’s Day or you’re at a wedding. This chapter is like a beautiful flower that people admire but then file away with “white lace and promises….”

However, put 1 Corinthians 13 under a microscope, and you’ll discover that it only becomes more beautiful, especially as it applies to someone we struggle to love. Love is an attitude-a pattern of thinking formed over a period of time. When the people in our lives aren’t living up to what we think they should be doing and our critical spirit kicks in, we need to get to work on whatever attribute of love applies. Maybe we put on kindness . . . or patience . . . or give that person grace to grow in that area that is really turning your crank. Go through 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 and ask the Lord to show you how to express this kind of tough love. We’ve all learned the hard way that if you:

  • Confront without love, someone gets hurt.
  • Correct without love, someone gets hurt.
  • Complain without love, someone gets hurt.
  • Console without love, and someone already hurt gets hurt worse.

In most cases, when love is missing from the communication, everyone loses. No matter how clearly you understand God’s truth or how capable you are of bringing truth to bear upon a person’s life, if you don’t love the person you’re talking to, if you don’t have a broken heart for them-you’re just wasting your time. How many times have we made the mistake of speaking the truth to someone but not having been on our knees for them? The very first verse in 1 Corinthians 13 says that it doesn’t matter how eloquent or super-spiritual I sound, if I don’t have love, “I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal . . .”

The world is all too familiar with selfish, hateful communication. It never expects love.

© 2008 Walk in the Word

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